Headache

Having put up with annoyingly painful headaches for roughly a year and an uncomfortable feeling that something hasn't been, well, correct with my ears since that sinus infection in November, I decided to finally to get professional help.

No, that's not entirely true. After we drove up and down countless mountains on our way to and from Arizona last week, Justin heard me complain enough about my ears hurting, feeling clogged, etc, to goad me into making an appointment on Tuesday.

That afternoon, as I was cleaning up my desk and putting away the wreckage of another hellish day of assessments, I noticed something horrifying in the office mirror. Disgustingly AWFUL. Apparently, along with my arms and forehead, my earlobes had been sun burnt at the baseball games, and were now peeling.

I examined them in slight misery, realizing the nurse practitioner would be peering into my freakishly scaly MUTANT EARS OF GROSSNESS in a matter of minutes. (Because apparently no actual doctors are taking new patients in Laramie. I keep getting told by nurse practitioners, "You should see an MD!" But...it's not possible. I've tried. I hate you, Laramie.) I also was dreading the trip because I kept remembering this girl in the dorms who had to have her ears irrigated, because the ear wax had completely clogged her ears and hardened into a wall. And they had to chip it open with a chisel or ice pick or something else equally shudder-worthy.

Can you imagine? Chiseling ear wax?

I sucked it up and went, and fortunately the nurse didn't say anything about reptilian earlobes or hardened ear wax or irrigation or ice picks. I was told, however, that I have migraines. She wouldn't be argued out of it, either. After a glance in my ears, she told me that they were "Full of fluid! Look at that!" and that my Eustachian tubes aren't working. Fancy! I was given some samples for migraine medicine. She told me not to confuse the side effects with having a stroke.

Greeeat.

Also, I was given a prescription for an antihistamine to dry out my allergy-afflicted ears.

I made an idiot of myself when I went to fill my prescription. After waiting in line for a thousand years behind generally exhausted/angry/sullen looking customers, my prescription was filled. I pulled out my wallet, and was told that ten days of something similar to benadryl would cost 45 dollars. I shrieked, "WHAT?!" way too loudly, and then asked confusedly how much my insurance paid.

Five dollars and sixty cents.

Whoo.

And no, it hasn't helped yet.

Anyway, I was nervous about the migraine stuff, because among the delightfully charming side effects listed, DEATH was one of them.

"And in some rare cases, death."

Guess those migraines can't bother you, when you're a damn zombie, eh? Eh? Or when you're, uh, in heaven? Or, um, who cares about a headache when you're in hell? Or um, when worms are eating your eyeballs? Eh? Eh?

Um.

Against my better judgment, I took one of the migraine pills yesterday at work when my vision started blurring and I got the incoming headache feeling. Shortly thereafter, my throat tightened up, my face started tingling, I got all hot and sweaty and shaky.

I may have panicked slightly. There I was, all alone in the office. I clutched nervously at my throat as I imagined dialing 911, and not being able to tell the operator I needed help because my throat had completely closed off in the cold clutches of icy dooooom. And only the African violet on my desk would witness my ugly and early demise! I hadn't even made a will! How will anyone know who should get my, um, cat? Or my nearly forgotten and totally scratched up copy of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack? And then all the wrong songs would be played at my funeral, and no one would love Jelly Roll, and I really needed to watch Bottle Rocket with Justin one more time.

But it didn't happen.

I did feel like crap for a long time, though, and my headache didn't really improve. I slept away most of the evening, only waking long enough to eat pizza and watch an episode of News Radio. Here I'm finally hormone and medication free, and I go and take a pill that actually SHRINKS THE BLOOD VESSELS IN YOUR BRAIN. And has a side effect of death.

So I don't really know what to do now.

I do know I gotta remember some html, stat. Cause this pre-made template isn't really working for me.

Stat!

I have a headache.

Lurve,
black sheeped