A Post About Nothing

3:47 p.m.

1.

Just one hour and 13 minutes until the made-for-tv movie KARATE DOG on ABC Family.

Can.

Not.

Wait.

Nothing like a long three-day weekend of doing...Absolutely nothing. By absolutely nothing I mean weeding, laundry, making a bazillion trips to the grocery store, and battling with wine corks that are made of that stupid stupid rubbery stuff. Seriously, how is a corkscrew supposed to grip that? Nonsense. Any tips would be appreciated. Also, I got annoyed at the dog.

He totally lied at six this morning and told me he had to pee again, five minutes after I took him out to pee the first time, and when I graciously and generously took him out again I saw he just wanted to chase the squirrel. And dig a hole.

And bark at the sky.

2.

Yesterday we were all in the Jeep, the dog and Justin and I, and we stopped at a red stoplight. A man shuffled up the sidewalk. He was wearing many many layers of dirty clothing, three or four coats, sweatshirts, etc. He carried several bags. He had the coat hoods up, and was wearing hats and a ski mask, so all that was exposed were his eyes. The clothing made him seem round and massive, he sort of floated along like a Miyazaki character. Monk's hair raised along his neck and he started growling and barking. I grabbed his collar and said, "No, bad dog, Monk, no!" I had my head turned but Justin told me the man started stomping toward the Jeep, starting waving his arms around and his eyes were angry. Then the light turned and we drove away.

We saw him later shuffling back toward the highway.

I don't know.

It seemed so out of place in this strange little town.

3.

The craziness at work is winding down. The last few weeks I've been ridiculously stressed. By the way, stress + trying a new facial cleanser + PMS = I look like I'm 15 again. Which is awesome. But I finished two big projects last week, and will turn in the report on Wednesday. You know, the one I've been working on since January. I plan on spending the last two weeks cleaning the office, going through file cabinets, throwing out everything I possibly can, praying people will email me a lot and reading random articles on Wikipedia.

4.

Is anyone else just completely obsessed with Wikipedia? I wasted a complete afternoon a few weeks ago reading about the history of British fashion, starting in the 1500's.

5.

I know all the words to the Captain Planet theme song.

I have a plan for what I'm planting in the front flowerbed.

This morning I woke up craving biscuits and gravy, cake, and nachos.

(I am gross.)

Lately I've been missing people.

My parents and hopefully my sister are coming June 25.

I sort of taught the dog to "shake."

One of my bosses buys her dog acupuncture and massages.

Three of my tulips have bloomed.

We put up a birdfeeder.

I like to dance after dinner.

Pixies.

6.

I gotta go get ready for Karate Dog.

That's right, I said "get ready for Karate Dog."

Kisses,
black sheep

7:07 p.m.

Silverado just came on. Justin said he thought I'd like it.

"Is it about horses?" I asked.

"Well, horses are in it. It's not about them, though."

"I'd like it if it was about horses."

"Why would that be good? What sort of a conflict would the horses have?"

"Well, it would be good if the people were bad and the horses were good."

"But how would they fight? How could the horses win?"

"With guns."

"Horses can't hold guns. Guns?"

"Horse guns."