A Dramatic List About Nothing At All, Again

2:12 p.m.

I swear I don't hate you, Blogger. Maybe a little bit. But just a tiny little bit.

HEY, LOOK, A NEW POST.

As usual, I've been trying to keep a mental list of things to write about. As usual, I've forgotten 95 percent of them. (Other things I've recently forgotten: 1) to cancel the car insurance on the car I sold nearly a month ago 2) every online password I have 3) hot soup can burn you 4) the other things I was going to list in this "things I forgot list".) As usual, I'm just going to slap down the things rattling around in my brain, and pretend that if I number them, they will somehow magically go together and will also be remotely interesting/important/organized.

1. I'm feeling less sad. This is good, and is actually important. Less crying, more colors. Good.

2. Oh-geez-the-last-episode-of-Flavor-of-Love-is-on-tonight and what is going to happen? Not that I, uh, care. Not that I've had dreams about being on that show, or anything.

3. (In it, Flava Flav nicknamed me "Cowboy." I don't even own spurs.)

4. Friday afternoon at work I took a sip of my Diet Pepsi and realized, "Uh oh, there is something round and hard in my mouth." Squealing (which is really difficult to do with a mouthful of soda), I wildly ran to the utility sink in the boiler room and spat out a mouthful of Diet Pepsi. AND A FLY. A FLY.

A.

FLY.

What followed was a good ten minutes of me freaking out, rinsing out my mouth repeatedly, anxiously asking a co-worker if I was going to get a disease, gagging, lamenting the fact that we don't keep anti-bacterial mouthwash in a frame shop, praying that there wasn't a fly leg stuck between my back molars, and shuddering. I am a big baby. But. I really hate flies. And I had one! In my mouth! Diet Pepsi and fly soup! In my mouth!

5. I've noticed anytime I have to do anything remotely more difficult than normal at work, such as cut a double mat with five circular openings, or deal with oversized uv-protectant glass (expensive) my right eye starts twitching frantically. I could call him Twitchy! Twitchy the Eye.

I own circular mats, though! I OWN them.

6. I'm feeling very DRAMATIC today. Did you notice? Hm?

7. Our dryer is broken, but I have been promised a repair in two weeks. In the meantime, I have set up an Elaborate Indoor Clothesline System in the laundry room, which is where the cats have beds, etc. We often call the laundry room the cat room. You know. For all two of them. Pros:

a. The cats believe they are now living in a totally excellent and rad clothing fort. Apparently the awesomeness levels of this can not be described, nor experienced by pathetic humans. Coltrane is all, "Look, my bed is in a fort, with walls made of wet clothing! I am a bitch and therefore am happy my bed is concealed even further! Stay away from me, this is my fort and I own it! I am now finally invincible! Bow before me, slave! I shouldn't even allow you in the Fort-like Castle of Coltrane! I will cut you!" Jelly Roll is all, "Put more food in the bowl!"

Coltrane:





















Jelly Roll:

















Guess which one would cut you. Also, guess which one is, at this very instant, gently and seductively nibbling on/making out with the black fake roses we bought for the Halloween party. EVIL.

So, um. Back to the pro list of using a clothesline. Ahem.

b. I only have enough room to hang one load of laundry, so it's physically impossible to do a marathon day of laundry. Wash one load, hang one load, wait. It's beautiful!

c. Is it just me, or is it sort of nice when towels are sort of...crispy? From hanging to dry? You know, invigorating? Exfoliating? Waking up the skin, feeling alive? That sort of thing? No? Just me? Never mind.

That wasn't much of a pro list, but it was enough for now. I'm losing my focus. I've got a cat getting to first base with some black roses here, and let's face it. This post? Lame. IT IS DEAD TO ME.

Kisses,
black sheep