baa baa black sheep



It's important to remember that when they all four come busting into the bedroom at 5:59 a.m. and there is hissing and growling and swatting and clicking toenails and thumping and leaping and panting and the toenails are DEFINITELY scratching the wood floor that they can't really help their stupidity. When an obese cat bites my hand repeatedly, just a little bit harder each time, at 4:18, to tell me that he is actually waiflike and starving and must be fed, it is important to remember that his brain is tiny and he is likely not possessed by a demon. When they succeed in getting us up, and then immediately all four fall asleep cozily draped on furniture or snuggled up in their beds, it is important to remember that they are all just shit heads by nature, and it's not personal.

And it is important for them to remember that when we threaten to cut off their skin and feed it to each other, or threaten to throw them all into the streets and laugh, or threaten to make them all sleep in the garage while we have a big party inside, or threaten to cook them all into a pet stew, that we are not serious. We are really saying, "You are horrible creatures but we love you anyway."

Two big dumb dogs asleep on my feet, two soft fat kitties curled up beside me purring and warm. It is gray and windy, the first snowflakes of the season are falling, house guests will get here this evening, the cranberry sauce and a pumpkin cheesecake are in the fridge, finished at midnight. In one minute I have to drive to work, but I would like to stay here, on the couch, with these fat furry lovely pets, and sleep under a quilt, but I will put on my yellow coat and go.

Happy Thanksgiving,
black sheeped


Blogger Jess said...

That is such a nice picture you paint at the end. I'm sorry you had to get up and go to work after. But at least you have a yellow coat to do it in.

8:21 AM, November 21, 2007  
Anonymous Pickles & Dimes said...

Oh, I hear you. We made all kinds of threats to Sunny this morning, complete with swear words and plenty of uses of the phrase, "absolute shithead," after she figured out that not merely jumping on our heads was enough to get us up, and decided to paw repeatedly at the plastic bag containing my wedding dress in the bedroom next door.

She's lucky she's so cute and such a good cuddler.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your dinner goes off without a hitch!

8:56 AM, November 21, 2007  
Blogger Marie Green said...

As usual, lovely post.
"I will put on my yellow coat and go."


Have a great Thanksgiving!

9:26 AM, November 21, 2007  
Blogger Fine For Now said...

The way you talk about your pets makes me want to get a dog. I totally understand all the love you have for them and you were right on about how they just don't know that they don't know. :o)

1:38 PM, November 21, 2007  
Blogger Shelly Overlook said...

Oh god, I so have those conversations with my annoying furry beasts every single day. I love them despite themselves.

Is your torti bitchy? Every torti I've known has been a real bitch, which is sort of why I love them.

1:51 PM, November 21, 2007  
Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

Beautiful entry! I need to follow your example and remind myself that the world is a totally different place when viewed through the prism of my cat's mad little feline brain.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2:49 PM, November 21, 2007  
Blogger PixelPi said...

Lovely post, and your day is sure to be as good once you get home. I too love the way you write about your animals. I guess that my standards are just too high for animals with brains the size of a walnut. Maybe a walnut half. By the time you read this you will be this much closer to home and a beautiful Thanksgiving, and will be mauled in your yellow coat at the front door by your little friends.

PS I have threatened to make pet stew for years. I think by now they don't believe me. I need a new line.

3:22 PM, November 21, 2007  

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