Rules

Things Cab has eaten/chewed to a drooly pulp since we got him:

1) 100 watermelon flavored Tootsie Rolls
2) a considerable amount of birdseed
3) cat poop
4) leaves
5) one of my skirts
6) several of my socks
7) various unknown objects when destroying the contents of various trash cans
8) eggshells
9) a cardboard pop box
10) large amounts of old carpeting (we put it in the garage after tearing it out of the basement and proceeded to pretend it didn't exist) (we disposed of it last night)
11) chunks of a sofa slipcover
12) chunks of a blanket
13) chunks of the sofa itself
14) the corner of a sofa cushion
15) two Tupperware containers (they were actually Monk's favorite water dishes, because he is trashy like that)
16) a couple of grocery store bags
17) one of my sweaters
18) two electric cords

We've used the bitter spray, we bought a lot of dog puzzle toys, which he likes. He just likes gnawing on the sofa more. We were confused, because the majority of these gnawings happened while we were home with him. He disappears for a few minutes, it gets too quiet, and then we find he has destroyed something. We've dog proofed and re-dog proofed, but he keeps finding delightful! items! to! eat! The other night, when we discovered our upstairs red couch had been mauled, we sat down and talked, and remembered (my husband already remembered, but I had forgotten) that when we got Monk we were Total Hardasses.

For two years, he had to always be with us, through the use of baby gates. We kept him by our sides. When we were gone or doing something that he needed to not be involved in, we'd shut him into an empty room with his bed, water, and a few toys. (He outgrew his crate.) He was always monitored, we worked on his behavior constantly. Monk was not always easy--he was a bad jumper, he chewed, it took a year to leash train him (even with a training collar), he loved cat poop, he loved cat food even more. He was really, really excitable. Monk had been returned to the animal shelter twice (both times within a day) because he was so craaaazy hyper. But because we were Always On His Ass, and he was essentially crate trained (or room trained, I guess) he got it and now he's a trustworthy dog. Now we can let him have the run of the house when we're gone, and he knows he has one chair he can lay on, and he knows all the rules, and we're all happy because of it. He likes the rules, and he likes knowing how things are, and he likes knowing we're in charge.

But that took two years!

I forget that Cab is a puppy, and will take a loooooong time to get it, and that he must be constantly monitored. Last night we cleaned out the garage (it's attached to the house, so it's warm), put down an area rug, his bed, his bowl, some puzzle toys. And when we're not home, that is where he must go. We've started shutting him in rooms with us so we can always be watching him. It's doggie boot camp around here, is what I am saying, and Monk is relieved. And Cab is as happy as ever. Just within eyesight.

Let's all have a moment of silence for the demise of our red couch, for which I feel responsible.

Love,
black sheeped