Bones

7:00 a.m.

I have not been a very good blogger lately.

Here are some things that have been happening this week:

1. My co-worker is out of town for a month. This means there is a lot more work for me to do.

2. I got sick with some some of chest cold/flu/plague of chest doom, but kept coming to work anyway. Due to the stuff I needed to do. Wednesday was the worst, it was horribly painful to breathe, I had a fever and sore throat and headache, all that, but had a lot to do at work and kept running up and down the stairs and chopping frames and thought I would die. So yesterday I stayed home. I'd like to stay home today, since my head is pounding and I still have a low fever, but we have too many Mother's Day rushes to get done today.

3. Yesterday I sold my second piece of art online! Most of my online time has been split between looking at cute animals and working on my online store, so it was gratifying to sell a little something. I've been trying to find ways to promote my shop, (and sort of kicking myself for closing that old blog where I got a bajillion readers) and have not been overly successful. I feel weird asking people to pimp me out online. At least now at work when a customer says, "Why isn't YOUR art here, where can I buy YOUR art?" I have somewhere to point them.

4. My boss told her massage therapist about my bleeding problems, and she told my boss to tell me to look into thyroid problems. So I did, and found out they run in my family, and some of the signs are fatigue, getting sick easily, ADD, carpal tunnel syndrome, constipation, low temperature, always feeling cold, dry skin and hair, slow metabolism, heavy periods and excessive bleeding between periods (which can eventually lead to infertility), irritability, depression, panic attacks, drop in libido. All of these things describe me perfectly (hi, aren't you glad you know my normal temperature is 96.4 and I'm usually constipated?). My boss is Excited and called me four or five times yesterday to ask if I had called my doctor, etc. I did, she was out of town, the nurse told me where I can get a cheap blood test next Thursday. I really really hope this is what my problem is, because the solution is a cheap medication that you apparently can even take while pregnant. I'm afraid the blood tests will show everything is normal, though, and my hope of a simple answer will be dashed, dashed to the ground.

Last night I got a voicemail from someone that I didn't want to listen to, and a few minutes later my boss called to tell me she told the homeopathic vet all about my uterus problems (EVERYONE. IN. THE. WORLD. is on familiar terms with my uterus at this point) and the vet had called me to tell me two homeopathic things I could take in the meantime, and the vet said I didn't answer my phone and did I get the message? Did I?

I sort of just want to not think about it. Until I find out if this is what's happening.

It would answer so many questions, though.

5. TODAY IS MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY. She is now two decades old. Cute, cute.

6. My other online time has been spent trying to figure out how to make my own cat food/trying to find an all-meat cat food that is not the same price as gold dust or crack. Because. The puking, the puking. These cats are not doing so great. Apparently cats can't really digest grains, and I read some really gross articles about how cat food is made. (For the love of all that is holy, do not let your children eat pet food. They put cancerous cows in there. And spray it with rendered fat so it tastes better.) And I read a lot about cats in general and what they need.

The vet said switching them over to all meat (raw meat) will give them enzymes they need to digest food. I have been promised it will stop puking and dry skin and bad breath. And keep them healthier. And they will poop less. And! Less puking! So. When I make meat for us I try to give the cats little bits, to see what they'll eat. So far I've gotten Coltrane to eat some ground turkey (finally, after several failed attempts, I smeared some on her tongue, and after her Indignity and Rage were expressed she realized, oh, hey! this is TASTY!) twice. The second time she attacked it voraciously. I was a little frightened. I've also tried to get them to eat raw chicken and liver, but they refused. Jelly Roll has refused it all, the fat stinky bastard. I got a few cups of an expensive all meat dry kibble from my boss and mixed it in with their old food, and they meticulously ate around it. I think Monk finally ate it.

Oh, Monk! You are grateful for any food! All hail the gullible and trusting dog!

So, um. Lots of reading about entrails and bone meal and liver. I even called a few butchers. "Um, hi. Do you guys grind bones?" It's been pretty intense. I think this is what will have to happen: canned cat food for a while, then a little better quality canned cat food, then ground turkey, then ground turkey with egg and liver and bone meal. Then maybe they'll eat some chicken. We've done lots of calculating on how cheaply we can do this, and it's not bad. I think it's cheaper than the organic cat food. They don't need much. And cats need the cheap meat (organs, dark meat, etc).

Organs!

I swear I'm not crazy.

Swear.

7. People viewed our house yesterday for the first time.

8. I hate keeping the house so obscenely clean.

9. I feel like I should have ten full things.

10. I really don't.

So that's all. Not very interesting. With the bonus features of too much information about my body and the entrails cats love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER.

Love,
black sheeped