Hip

I decided to post some embarrassing things about myself now, specifically regarding pop culture. Or:

I Say Some Humiliating Things, and Then Rant, Because Maybe This Blog Is Sadly Lacking In Angry Rants About Our Culture

1) Tonight I asked my husband if he could make me a Faithful Dead CD. He looked at me and said, "Grateful Dead?"

Yes.

2) Tonight I remembered that I liked Dispatch.

3) I am finally comfortable enough with who I am to admit that I don't really like movies very much. Isn't that lame? I mean, I like some movies very much. But I rarely think, "I want to watch a movie." I rarely feel as if I am in a movie-watching mood. I rarely want to watch movies, at all. And I usually dislike movies that have:

violence, suspense, death, anything getting hurt, bad plots, bad acting, pretension, horror, bad guys, knives, guns, explosions, cars, sequels, long over dramatic trailers, shitty symbolism, action, stupid love scenes, bad jokes, fart jokes, sex jokes, penis jokes, testicle jokes, guys in bars hitting on women jokes, fast forwarded brain scenes, narration, plot holes, hype, Keanu Reeves, Sean Connery, scary robots, scary aliens, detectives, the future, history if it has a lot of really stupid over done special effects, chase scenes, strip club scenes, bachelor party scenes, rain scenes, yelling in rain scenes, Leonardo DeCapprio (who my husband says is single-handedly destroying Martin Scorsese's career, morally), recreations of other movies, recreations of Broadway plays, recreations of anything, basis on true stories, pot humor, plots geared toward drug users, Rachel McAdams, Zach Braff, movies that are designed to be "events" or "blockbusters," Julia Stiles, a lack of realistic female characters (which is every movie ever), a plot based on technology, a plot based on comic books, a serious plot about sports, Dakota Fanning, cannibalism, a plot based on video games, vampires, rave scenes, high school party scenes, freshmen college characters who look like they are forty, most computer animation, plots based on great works of literature, plots based on terrible works of literature, asteroids, disasters, a lot of yelling, tire screeching, excessive technology beeping noises, outer space, unrealistic dialogue, stupid soundtracks, or animals with voiceovers by humans.

Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, such as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Snakes on a Plane.

The one exception is that I hate zombies, and refuse to watch zombie movies, ever, even if it is supposed to be funny. It is not funny, because it has ZOMBIES.

This means I pretty much only want to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, Things to Do, or Black Balled.

Over and over.

I am lame, but so is the movie industry.

4. I really have found very few bands I like since my third year of college, and tonight my very nice friend's (I miss you) music blog reminded me that, oh yeah, I like Iron and Wine, and hey! I could get a new CD sometime, and listen to music, and...like it! And oh, hey, I like music! I just never listen to it because...I don't know why.

So much of the old music I have reminds me of things. Some good, some bad. At any rate, listening to it is almost always exhausting, and I always think I'd like some new music that has no associations. And then I don't buy any, and instead make my husband listen to the Velvet Underground CD a billion times on long road trips, sometimes offering to play a Badly Drawn Boy CD or Crooked Fingers CD, and then I am shot down. So Velvet Underground it is.

I like music that is very acoustic and very folksy, and lately I have a pretty low tolerance for very thin men singing. Especially if they are wearing skinny legged jeans.

I like folk music and beards.

It's true.

5. I hate when people talk about celebrities. I hate magazines about celebrities. I hate when a celebrity screwing up makes the news. I hate that there are whole shows, whole channels, dedicated to the doings of celebrities. I hate that we blog about celebrities. I hate when people make jokes with references to celebrities in them, such as "off like Britney Spears' panties." I HATE THAT.

Because: what the hell is wrong with our society anyway?

Idiocracy counts as a movie I do like,
black sheeped