baa baa black sheep

12.17.2007

Hip

I decided to post some embarrassing things about myself now, specifically regarding pop culture. Or:

I Say Some Humiliating Things, and Then Rant, Because Maybe This Blog Is Sadly Lacking In Angry Rants About Our Culture

1) Tonight I asked my husband if he could make me a Faithful Dead CD. He looked at me and said, "Grateful Dead?"

Yes.

2) Tonight I remembered that I liked Dispatch.

3) I am finally comfortable enough with who I am to admit that I don't really like movies very much. Isn't that lame? I mean, I like some movies very much. But I rarely think, "I want to watch a movie." I rarely feel as if I am in a movie-watching mood. I rarely want to watch movies, at all. And I usually dislike movies that have:

violence, suspense, death, anything getting hurt, bad plots, bad acting, pretension, horror, bad guys, knives, guns, explosions, cars, sequels, long over dramatic trailers, shitty symbolism, action, stupid love scenes, bad jokes, fart jokes, sex jokes, penis jokes, testicle jokes, guys in bars hitting on women jokes, fast forwarded brain scenes, narration, plot holes, hype, Keanu Reeves, Sean Connery, scary robots, scary aliens, detectives, the future, history if it has a lot of really stupid over done special effects, chase scenes, strip club scenes, bachelor party scenes, rain scenes, yelling in rain scenes, Leonardo DeCapprio (who my husband says is single-handedly destroying Martin Scorsese's career, morally), recreations of other movies, recreations of Broadway plays, recreations of anything, basis on true stories, pot humor, plots geared toward drug users, Rachel McAdams, Zach Braff, movies that are designed to be "events" or "blockbusters," Julia Stiles, a lack of realistic female characters (which is every movie ever), a plot based on technology, a plot based on comic books, a serious plot about sports, Dakota Fanning, cannibalism, a plot based on video games, vampires, rave scenes, high school party scenes, freshmen college characters who look like they are forty, most computer animation, plots based on great works of literature, plots based on terrible works of literature, asteroids, disasters, a lot of yelling, tire screeching, excessive technology beeping noises, outer space, unrealistic dialogue, stupid soundtracks, or animals with voiceovers by humans.

Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, such as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Snakes on a Plane.

The one exception is that I hate zombies, and refuse to watch zombie movies, ever, even if it is supposed to be funny. It is not funny, because it has ZOMBIES.

This means I pretty much only want to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, Things to Do, or Black Balled.

Over and over.

I am lame, but so is the movie industry.

4. I really have found very few bands I like since my third year of college, and tonight my very nice friend's (I miss you) music blog reminded me that, oh yeah, I like Iron and Wine, and hey! I could get a new CD sometime, and listen to music, and...like it! And oh, hey, I like music! I just never listen to it because...I don't know why.

So much of the old music I have reminds me of things. Some good, some bad. At any rate, listening to it is almost always exhausting, and I always think I'd like some new music that has no associations. And then I don't buy any, and instead make my husband listen to the Velvet Underground CD a billion times on long road trips, sometimes offering to play a Badly Drawn Boy CD or Crooked Fingers CD, and then I am shot down. So Velvet Underground it is.

I like music that is very acoustic and very folksy, and lately I have a pretty low tolerance for very thin men singing. Especially if they are wearing skinny legged jeans.

I like folk music and beards.

It's true.

5. I hate when people talk about celebrities. I hate magazines about celebrities. I hate when a celebrity screwing up makes the news. I hate that there are whole shows, whole channels, dedicated to the doings of celebrities. I hate that we blog about celebrities. I hate when people make jokes with references to celebrities in them, such as "off like Britney Spears' panties." I HATE THAT.

Because: what the hell is wrong with our society anyway?

Idiocracy counts as a movie I do like,
black sheeped

11 Comments:

Blogger Jess said...

I don't see where the humiliating part starts. I love the Royal Tenenbaums too. I had a fish once that I named Spark Plug after the dalmatian in that movie. It died, like your fish.

8:54 PM, December 17, 2007  
Blogger desperate housewife said...

Jim and I love Royal Tenenbaums. Also The Life Aquatic (sp?) And I totally agree about the celebrity stuff. What's annoying me right now is how EVERYBODY famous is pregnant. Pregnancy is to this decade what yoga was to the nineties. All the cool kids are doing it! Baby bumps are the new tiny-dogs-in-purses. Gag.
I suck at music, so I totally sympathized with the part about still listening to old CD's and for some reason having no motivation to go freakin' get a life and get some interest in a new band already because you have listened to that Jimmy Eat World CD at least two hundred times!
Ahem.

10:55 PM, December 17, 2007  
Blogger el-e-e said...

Yes, a lot of these things describe me, too. ZOMBIES, especially. They are a no-go, not ever. They're just NOT entertaining.

I kind-of loved Leo DeCaprio in Departed, though. Sorry. I love when he says "Cranberry Juice" in that accent. LOVE.

However, I agree with you full 100% about Dakota Fanning, chase scenes, and the college freshmen old-men. GAH.

Excellent post. :)

6:19 AM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Saly said...

I love this post. LOVE IT!

I tend to forget that I love music too, I don't know why. I just downloaded The Lemonheads which is very old school, and I feel like I'm in highschool again.

I like most movies though, but I am so with you on the zombie thing. No thanks!

9:34 AM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Pickles & Dimes said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:41 AM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Pickles & Dimes said...

I will never see the Royal Tenenbaums because it has Gwyneth Paltrow in it, and even though she has never done anything to me personally, ever, I CANNOT stand her.

A few years ago, Jason heard she was looking to star in a biopic of Marlene Dietrich, my favorite actress of all time, and I was so mad I almost started crying. Stupid.

I'm with you on the celebrities. I wish people didn't find them so exciting that the stupid paparazzi feels it's OK to stalk them. And I just don't get the 24-hour cable channels dedicated to celebrity gossip. Eesh.

I suck at finding new music too.

P.S. I like Dakota Fanning though.

9:42 AM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Banana said...

I am with you on the music thing. I always forget that people make music I like now (because I also like folksy music and singer song-writer stuff that isn't usually popular). Although - embarrassingly... I like Britney Spears new album. When I run only. I am ashamed.

11:22 AM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger R.J. said...

I don't know if we can be friends anymore. I love zombie movies. They are my favorite type of movies.

12:10 PM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Marie Green said...

I like you.

1:27 PM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger Swistle said...

1) I don't like movies much either. They're too short. I like TV series, watched one episode after another like a lonnnnng movie.

2) I do like celebrity magazines, though. But I can get sick of them, and of the whole concept of them. Then I wait a week and read another one.

2:49 PM, December 18, 2007  
Blogger aurantifolia said...

And yet... in all that list I don't see Will Ferrell. That man is the devil himself. So. Bad.

1:23 AM, December 19, 2007  

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