baa baa black sheep

5.25.2007

Worries

7:08 a.m.

I'm starting to feel a bit frantic about the wedding. Not the getting married part, but about the Friday and Saturday and the picking up of food and setting things up and cleaning things up after and packing and getting up so early the day of the wedding and the day after and everyone being in town and everyone suggesting everyone might not get along. I'm worried that people keep warning me about things. I'm worried there's too much to do in a short span of time. I'm worried I'll be so busy I won't get to enjoy my sister's visit as much as I want to. I'm worried people will show up way too early and it will stress me out. I'm worried people will get too drunk, I'm worried I'll still be trying to kick people out at midnight, I'm worried flies will descend upon the cupcakes, I'm worried people won't even come, I'm worried I'll be so stressed out I'll feel isolated and unhappy. I'm worried everyone will tell me to relax and to enjoy myself, when I am TRYING, I'm worried our flights will get cancelled again, I'm worried about the rental chairs, I'm worried people will have a bad time or think our wedding is stupid. I'm fairly certain, not worried, that the cupcakes are going to look horrible. (The level of unprofessionalism in this town is fairly amazing.) I'm worried our wedding night will end up like a friend's recent wedding night, where she passed out drunk on the floor and spent the night there while her husband, after nudging her with his shoe, passed out in the bed. (That is highly highly unlikely, but my worries are all-encompassing and unreasonable.) I'm worried I'm too worried.

Someone said to me, "I wondered when you were going to wig out about everything." Also, when we left the store Wednesday, after I couldn't get the cupcake woman to understand what fuchsia or red-violet look like, and she kept writing down "PURPLE", and I didn't want purple because the other colors are red and yellow and orange and I was thinking of zinnias, you guys, zinnias, not CARNIVAL COLORS, but finally Justin told her purple was fine and steered me out of there. And said, "I can't believe you care about that stuff!"

Hooray!

I don't even know who I am!

I think it's been a long week at work, and I think I am tired. I think it's overflowing into the wedding-issues part of my brain, contaminating my attitude. Most of the time I feel fine, I feel like everything will be easy and we'll have fun and everything will come together beautifully and it won't be a big deal. That we'll just take care of one thing at a time, and ignore the drama going on with other people. After all, it's more like an afternoon party than a wedding, and planning a party and then the set up? Justin and I are awesome at parties. We rock party set up.

I'm hoping the three day weekend will help. We're even running away to the next town over to go to Target and some other stores, to buy things we need for the honeymoon. Like sunblock.

Three weeks and one day.

Kisses,
black sheeped

PS. Sorry about the wedding talk. I know it's annoying. Trust me. I'm well aware.

4 Comments:

Blogger Swistle said...

I think the wedding stress is what makes the first months of marriage so pleasant: the wonderful relief of having the wedding stress over with.

I love the story about her writing down "purple." Bring that woman a Pantone booklet.

9:40 AM, May 25, 2007  
Blogger Black Sheeped said...

I should have just had a box of crayons with me.

9:41 AM, May 25, 2007  
Blogger artemisia said...

I'd say relax, but I don't want to stress you out more!!

Seriously, though, if you just want to say "fuck it" to cleaning up afterwards, I'd love to clean up after you leave for your VERY RELAXING AND WELL-EARNED HONEYMOON!

You can just catch your flights (that won't be canceled, and if they are, there will be other flights -- promise!) and I'll swing by and clean the hell out of your house. And I promise not to look in your underwear drawer or medicine cabinet. I will just show up with my own Pine Sol, trash bags and scrubby things.

And since you might still be showing the house, my one-more-tragic-event-away-from-full-blown-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder will come in handy to accomplish this task properly.

Seriously. Asking me to do this would not in the least strike me as hideous.

Or, I can just buy you a couple of drinks over the next few weeks! That would be fun, too.

Swistle - who are you? Pantone booklet? I think I am developing a small crush.

12:58 PM, May 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the thing: If you focus on the marriage, instead of the wedding, everything will fall into place. Nobody's there to judge your cupcakes. They're there because they care about you and they want to see you happy. Nobody will remember if your cupcakes were purple, but they WILL remember if you were a frazzled heap. Trust me, I've planned over 50 weddings, and the best ones are those where the bride and groom seem genuinely happy and in love. Purple cupcakes nonwithstanding. ;)

8:43 PM, May 25, 2007  

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